Welcome to the Gym! And by “Gym,” I mean “Opportunity to Pay a Lot to Be Hassled by Burly Men and Otherwise Irritated.”

March 13, 2008


Of course, you already knew that I am a bitter crone,
doomed to die alone with her cats. Fortunately, cats are funny.


Overall I like the gym. It meshes nicely with my many compulsions. Plus I am vain about my biceps.

But is this really necessary?:

Me (pulling on some kind of weight system meant to strengthen my back): “ug. phooe. phwee. ouch. ”

Dude-who-oogled-my-ass-*from below it*-while-stretching-on-his-back-and-then-followed-me-out-of-the-cardio-room: “I can help you learn to use the weight machines.”

Me: “no, thanks.”

Dude: “Don’t you want to make the most of your workout?”

Me: “Its 10pm. Its late. I don’t really like to meet strange men at the gym while wearing clothes that amount to unattractive underwear. I just want to work out. Please leave me alone.”

Dude (under his breath while walking away): “Bitch.”

It helped matters not at all that during the early stages of this interaction the gym in question had selected their entire playlist from the tracks suggested on the blog Stuff White People Like. Starting with the old chestnut “Baby Got Back.” Nice.


One Response to “Welcome to the Gym! And by “Gym,” I mean “Opportunity to Pay a Lot to Be Hassled by Burly Men and Otherwise Irritated.””

  1. puerdixit said

    This one made me roll my eyes so hard and so far I think I might be permanently injured.

    Thanks patriarchy!

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